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xo

Is catcalling acceptable?

If you’re a female, you have most likely been catcalled in your life at least once.  In case you don’t know what catcalling is, it is when a stranger (usually a male accompanied by other males), tells you something or yells you something while you’re walking in the street, or essentially anywhere.  It will sound something like: “EY BABY, COME OVER HERE” or “DAMN GIRLLL, YOU LOOKIN’ FINE!” or it can also be a whistle, car honks or “MHMM MHMMM” also often accompanied by sexual movements….

 ….. you get the point.

So, this is a pretty common thing that happens every day to women walking on the street. Not only to good looking women but to every woman. Every time I walk somewhere, I am actually afraid to be cat called by guys walking by,  guys in cars, guys anywhere near me.

When it happens, I usually just ignore it completely, but it always makes me feel super uncomfortable, kind of freaked out and disgusted.

“But… It was just a compliment? Jeez, don’t get so worked up!”

This is what some people will say in response to people like me who get pissed off when getting cat-called.  Are you freaking kidding me? A compliment? You must not know what a compliment is. Let me help you with that, you dumb, dumb person.

Compliment:

 “A polite expression of praise or admiration.”

Can you find the key word here? POLITE.

Polite:

“Having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people.”

What are the key words here? RESPECTFUL and CONSIDERATE:

Considerate :

“Careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others. Showing careful thought. ”

If that doesn’t clarify anything for you, catcalling is extremely disrespectful. You are basically harassing someone. You are making someone else feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

And this is without mentioning how dumb people who catcall look while doing it. They are trying to look “cool” for their friends, and they act that way because society makes them feel like they have to objectify women to feel manly or seem manly. It’s RIDICULOUS! They can’t talk to women like regular people! And this is often because they fail to see women as regular people, which is a HUGE fucking problem. 

If you are with a group of your friends and one of your friends see’s a woman walking and says something inappropriate, I demand you have the decency to smack him in the face, or tell him to shut the fuck up. 

What is life?

For this post I DON’T want to talk about our lives in our society, our different stages in our life, our purpose in life or why we are here. I actually don’t want to center it around human life at all. When I ask what is life, I am talking in broader terms. MUCH MUCH broader terms, actually.

Have you ever thought about how big the universe is? How incomprehensibly gigantic the cosmos are? Do you have any idea at all how insignificantly small we are in the grand scheme of things? I can’t begin to try to explain it because it’s almost impossible to really understand what we are in the universe. Existence is such a messed up idea to try to wrap your head around. Lately I have been obsessed with learning more about the universe and it keeps blowing my mind every day.

I would like to share with you my personal belief about the universe. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to explain it very well but I’ll do my best.

So the universe keeps going and going, there is no wall that ends the universe, there is no end to the universe… It is infinite. You know the molecules and atoms everywhere that make everything on earth what it is? — like the skin on your arm or a piece of wood for example. To me, a molecule on your arm or on a piece of wood (or anything) is a universe in itself. And it expands, so it keeps going both ways. So our planet is like an atom in the molecule of the Milky Way, and we are just a tiny part of something bigger. And that thing that is bigger, is also a tiny part of something bigger, and it keeps going! In my head, it’s the only thing that makes sense. And it literally keeps going infinitely in both directions. Infinitly smaller and infinitly larger.

I tried to explain that as best as I could so hopefully you understand what I mean! I’m not a science genius; I only took science in high school and mostly forgot everything at this point. But now I kind of REALLY wish I decided to study science. Astronomy specifically. I am seriously obsessed with it lately, it is so mind blowing, and it gives me some weird feeling. Kind of like a sense of calm, like my life is so meaningless in a way, but so insanely awesome at the same time and that I am so lucky to be experiencing life, whatever this is, whatever we are. The fact that I can think of all of this amazes me and makes me want to learn everything about the universe. I started watching “Cosmos” on Netflix, I seriously urge everyone to watch the first episode! You will be amazed and want to watch the whole season. After writing this post, I am going to watch another episode.

Life is so crazy. I can’t even write this blog post properly because I can’t put into words how amazing it all is. I can’t put into words what is going on in my head. I just wanted to try my best to share my thoughts with you all.

And this is leaving out the whole “time” stuff. Do you understand our time on this planet? Do you understand that the time of your life on this planet, is literally NOTHING compared to the time of the universe. Our human life is like a blink of the eye in our planet’s perspective. Let’s fit the entire universe’s time since the “Big Bang” in one year’s calendar. So the “Big Bang” is January 1st at 12:00am sharp and the present time is December 31st at 12:00am sharp. Human existence only appeared in the last hour of December 31st. This includes cave men, all the kings we’ve learned about, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, this includes everything in our history books, everything we know, the pyramids in Egypt, all human existenece. And it all only happens December 31st at 11:00pm. And our present life, which only lasts roughly a century, is at the last 100th of a millisecond of the last day of the year.

This is kind of difficult to understand, and they explain it much better in “Cosmos” on Netflix. So watch it and you will see what I am saying.

Anyways all of this trippy stuff makes me realize how useless and dumb it is to be mad about little things, or let things get to me in life. Also how I spend so much time doing things that I don’t even want to do, and achieve things that society expects me to achieve, when in the end, it’s all kind of just an illusion. Society doesn’t matter. I am alive in this fantastic universe. By the way I swear I don’t do drugs and I am not high while writing this lol. Can anyone relate to what I am saying? This shit is so messed up, in such a fantastic mysterious wonderful way.

I for one am not religious, I believe in science and hard facts. But this stuff makes me feel spiritual in ways I can’t explain.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone!

Have you ever felt like you wanted to say something or do something but never had the “gutts” to do it? I’m not talking about going sky diving, or doing something illegal… I’m talking about the comfort zone. What is the comfort zone you ask? It is anything that is safe and familiar. Anything that you are used to, that you’re afraid to change and has zero risk involved.

So this can be your group of friends, your regular activities, your school, your current job that you’ve become comfortable with, etc… And this is also your level of comfort in being yourself around new people. Most people who are afraid to stepping outside of their comfort zone are worried about what others think of them, don’t take much risk in life and have a harder time being themselves around people they meet. And that seriously sucks, and is why I wanted to discuss it a bit today and tell you why it’s important to step outside of your comfort zone.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone allows you to learn more about yourself, grow as a person and it’s honestly super liberating once you start doing it regularly. Think about it, it’s the people who aren’t afraid of making a fool out of themselves that are the people who are the most memorable in life! Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be hard, but if you never do it, your life will most likely be pretty boring. People complain a lot about this, “Ugghh my life sucks… Why doesn’t anything exciting happen to me? Why aren’t I enjoying life as much as this person or that person?”

Let me tell you why! Because you don’t do anything out of the ordinary or that you feel uncomfortable doing! You don’t take opportunities that are presented to you because you are too scared! You care too much what others think of you, and don’t want people to think your weird! But let me tell you a secret… being weird is actually the equivalent of being awesome. This is not a joke, I am serious!

Here’s a list of things I’ve done in the past year that I had to step outside of my comfort zone to do, and that I am pretty proud of :

-          Stood up for myself

-          Voiced my opinion on social media and in real life

-          Attended parties where I only knew 1 person

-          Frosh guide for the school’s student body – by myself, not knowing anybody

-          Frosh guide next year for my faculty – without any close friends

-          Hosted a couple parties

-          Became Director of translation for my student council for year 2014-2015

-          Moved out of my parent’s house, into a house with 4 girls, all of whom I didn’t know

-          Decided to go on exchange for one semester studying in Hong Kong!

Now, after taking all of those steps, which weren’t the easiest to do, I guess you could say that now I am pretty comfortable stepping outside of my comfort zone, if that makes any sense! But I am so glad I was able to do those things. Because of it, I met so many new people, which some are now very good friends of mine, made plenty of new memories, built my confidence, pushed myself, and I have absolutely zero regrets! I still have some work to do, sometimes I’m still afraid of what others will think of me, or I have a hard time being myself around new people, but it is something I work on every day and I have made so much progress from last year.

If you can do one small thing, even if it’s just going to a different bar than the one you usually go to, or if its standing up for yourself or for a friend. Trust me, once you start doing little things like that, it will become easier and easier to continue stepping outside of your comfort zone. You will grow as a person, become more confident and simply feel more alive! It’s amazing!

Trust me, making the decision to go to Hong Kong for a semester wasn’t an easy one, it is probably the most adventurous thing I’ve ever done. Going to the other side of the planet, all by myself and where the culture is extremely different, I think it’s the most I’ve ever stepped outside of my comfort zone, and as much as it was scary, I am SO happy! I am super excited, and proud of myself for doing this, I can’t wait! But if it weren’t for all of the other smaller steps I took, this probably would have been too scary for me.

So I challenge everyone to do one small thing, something “risky”, and by risky I don’t mean dangerous or illegal lol, I mean something like the things I listed.  You will feel great after and you will have that excitement in life you are looking for!

Anonymous asked:

Hey, I’m currently doing an investigation on post-modern feminism and it would be great if you could help me out by answering a few questions. I understand some of these may have already been answered throughout your blog, but time is limited for me. 1- What would you say 5 main goals of post modern feminists are? 2 - Do you remember where/when you first heard of feminism? 3 - How are you personally fighting for your cause?

1- I find it hard to say what the 5 main goals of feminists are, since not all feminists have the same thoughts in the first place and it also depends what area in the world you revolve your ideas around. The main goal feminists have is for equal treatment between the sexes. Now that is THE goal. Through that, I guess I can name five different specific things. Personally, I look at the aspects in third world countries as well as aspects in first world countries so I’ll try to give you a couple goals in both. In third world countries, feminists goals are to stop rape culture (this will include victim blaming and slut shaming), also stop stereotypical thoughts about women (must be dainty, dumb, shopoholics, can’t do sports, or drive, or be a leader, run a country..), then I will choose a third one for third world countries: sexual objectification. This is a big one. Seeing women as sexual objects only, and not as real people who have complex personalities and feelings. Now the last two for first world countries: equal rights for women (driving, voting, education etc…) and stopping child marriage, rape and abuse.

2- Hmmm… That is another tough one. No I don’t remember exactly when or where I heard of feminism. I never took a class, I guess I learned the term through conversations or the internet. I also read a lot of articles, many which are very sexist and I always get very angry and unpleased with them and speak about it so I think I naturally became a feminist, which I then took it upon myself to learn more.

3- Personally, I have started a page on “Because I am a girl-Canada” that raises money for women’s education, I need 120$ to give 2 women writing lessons. This is something I have only started a couple of weeks ago so I haven’t made very much progess yet, I will soon post it on my Tumblr and reblogs would be very much appreciated! I also speak a lot about it on social media or personally to other people in real life lol. Often when someone says something that is sexist I call them out or correct them or ask them to explain themselves. I also educate my friends and family the most I can with my thoughts. 

I hope this helped! :)

What is feminism?

So if you have me on Facebook or even on twitter, you might have noticed that I share a pretty healthy amount of articles, pictures and opinions that pretty much scream feminist. I have no problem admitting that I am a feminist. I’ll say it again, I am a feminist, I am a feminist, I am a fucking feminist!!

The problem is, I don’t really like that word, because unfortunately, not everyone really understands what it means. Also, it has a negative tone to it, making it sound extreme and unreasonable- which it is definitely not. This post’s purpose is to explain to people, who don’t know what feminism is or who THINK they know what feminism is, what it truly entails!

So what is feminism? Let’s keep it simple, here is the dictionary definition:

Feminism;

1-      The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities;

2-      The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

Pretty simple to understand right? So no, feminists don’t hate men, or want women to take over the universe, or think men should bend down and kiss women’s feet. All feminists want is equal treatment between the sexes. This doesn’t only include the injustices that women face, but the injustices that men face as well. Most feminists also vouch for equal rights for gay people, minorities, people with disabilities, etc. Basically, we want equal rights for everyone. But the term feminism and feminist is specific to equal rights for the two sexes.

I don’t feel like ranting too much about this subject because it would take too long and I wouldn’t even know where to start because I have so much to say and it is something that I feel strongly about. All I wanted to share is the meaning of being a feminist. People need to stop thinking being a “feminist” is something negative. Some of you might be thinking that women and men ARE treated equally. Well I am really sorry to tell you that you are very, but very wrong, and you need to educate yourself quite a bit more.

I have posted a picture below that has some sickening facts; which is only a sample of one area of the world’s problems. This will give you a little reality check, and if you are a real human being with a heart, it should make you angry!

Now you might be thinking, “Oh well yeah, other parts of the world… duh there’s a bunch of problems there” But you know what? Sexism exists in all other parts of the world as well, but in different forms. Like I said, I don’t feel like starting to rant too much, but there will definitely be a post discussing this in more detail, along with my specific opinions at some point.

I hope this helped give you a clearer perspective on what feminism really is. The term sounds negative, but it simply means equal treatment between men and women. That’s it. So if you think equal treatment between men and women is absolute nonsense and crazy, then yes I guess I am fucking out of my mind insane. I hope you are too.  

So this time of year there are a whole lot of opportunities to party, and also a lot of opportunities to “rave”. I have had many mixed emotions about the whole idea of “raving” but I have recently experienced new things and learned new things and that’s why I want to write about it and share my thoughts.
My first thought of raving is: drugs. Probably most peoples first thought. Does everyone at raves do drugs? Maybe not EVERYONE, but I think it’s safe to say that the majority do.  I personally have never done drugs and don’t plan on doing drugs, which is why I think I am more tempted to stay away from the whole raving stuff. I almost feel like you can only really enjoy the techno/EDM music scene if you are on drugs! And by techno/EDM music scene, I mean crowds, mosh pits, pushing, yelling, crowd surfing, etc.. I mean the wrost nightmare for someone who is claustrophobic.
 I don’t consider myself claustrophobic but after my recent experience I’m not sure… So I’ll tell you the story, it has a happy ending I promise. I was at the the RBC Ottawa Bluesfest last Thursday for Adventure Club. For those who don’t know Adventure Club, they’re two popular DJs that create really good EDM music! My friends and I thought it would be a great idea to go to the very front, and watch these DJs up close! We didn’t get very far in before we had to start pushing and squeezing through people, and when we finally made it only a few rows from the front, we decided we were close enough. Well even if we wanted to move closer (or further for that matter), there was no chance of moving in any direction. Oh but we were moving though.. just not willingly! Everyone was pushing! Not everyone was doing so purposely, most people were just also being pushed and since everyone is stuck together, a massive and continuous wave of pushing is created. And I’d just like to mention that I am a small girl, 5’2”, 100 pounds, so you can imagine people towering over me and squishing me it’s just really not the greatest thing in the world. 
But that’s not even it!! That’s not mentioning all the mosh pits happening right next to me that I was struggling to avoid getting dragged into! - And that is the exact reason that I believe to enjoy this kind of thing, you need to be on drugs. I was a little drunk, but my buzz was pretty much completely killed when I couldn’t breathe and had to push people away from me to have a centimeter of space!! Maybe I am actually claustrophobic, or maybe I just really REALLY like my bubble when it comes to random sweaty drunk people around me, but I was literally starting to have a panic attack (and by starting to have a panic attack I mean I was actually having a panic attack). Luckily I was close enough to the fence at the front to get pulled out of the crowd by security. 
The show had JUST started though! As I was getting pulled out, my exact thoughts were: “FML…. Like wow I’m not sure if I hate EDM concerts or if it’s just me who sucks and can’t handle them.” Some people don’t understand, but I’m sure if you are my size and are NOT on drugs, you can somewhat agree with me. I was pretty upset, I wasn’t with my friends anymore, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to just go home, or enjoy the concert alone further in the back… either way, it was super shitty!! :( If you are a raver, you’re probably thinking to yourself wow what a little pussy! Well screw off, you probably do drugs and/or you’re not my size! And maybe you are right, maybe I am a pussy. But whatever, I guess I’m just not someone who enjoys getting bruises and cuts!
Now for the happy ending! After getting pulled out of the crowd and brought next to the stage, they gave me water and told me to sit down for 5 minutes (because they probably thought I was on drugs). So I sat down, drank some cold water, relaxed, breathed in, breathed out, and I was fine. I got up, walked around a bit, and I realized that I was standing two meters away from a staircase that went backstage… No lie - I looked both ways and tip-toed up the stair case, thinking I would get kicked out right away! But I acted cool, like I belonged. Surprisingly, it worked! The people back there didn’t think twice, they didn’t ask me to show them anything, I literally chilled with them the entire show and watched it from back stage! It was amazing!! I couldn’t of been happier! I even took a pic on the actual stage when the show was over (and a million videos and pictures back stage during the show obviously), I even spoke to the DJs! (for like 2 seconds and I don’t think they even listened to me - but whatever hahaha) I made new friends with the people backstage; after the show we grabbed drinks and tacos at El Camino (an amazing taco bar spot on Elgin St- strongly recommend it) !!! I ended up having such a great time! 
So the moral of the story is…. It’s worth it to have a panic attack in the crowd because when you get pulled out you might be able to go back stage if you’re a ninja like me!
Just kidding… On a serious note, raves and concerts can be a great time, you just need to know your limits and be careful.  I said the only way you can enjoy the craziness of these EDM events is by doing drugs, but I will highlight that I strongly discourage taking drugs. A 19 year old girl died just last weekend in Ottawa after taking an “ecstasy” pill, followed by another 20 year old girl who is in a coma. They were both at the Escapade Festival. This horrible incident is another reason I wanted to write this post. My sympathies to all loved ones of these two young girls. This is serious shit and you never know what you are putting inside your body. I value my life a WHOLE LOT more than I value a “sick trip dude”, and you should never give in to peer pressure. Just because everyone around you is doing something, doesn’t mean you should do it. Fitting in is so 2005, standing out is cool. Doing what you think is right, is cooler! Having good morals and being a good influence to those around you, is the coolest.
During future concerts, I think I will stick towards the back where I can actually dance and enjoy myself. 

So this time of year there are a whole lot of opportunities to party, and also a lot of opportunities to “rave”. I have had many mixed emotions about the whole idea of “raving” but I have recently experienced new things and learned new things and that’s why I want to write about it and share my thoughts.

My first thought of raving is: drugs. Probably most peoples first thought. Does everyone at raves do drugs? Maybe not EVERYONE, but I think it’s safe to say that the majority do.  I personally have never done drugs and don’t plan on doing drugs, which is why I think I am more tempted to stay away from the whole raving stuff. I almost feel like you can only really enjoy the techno/EDM music scene if you are on drugs! And by techno/EDM music scene, I mean crowds, mosh pits, pushing, yelling, crowd surfing, etc.. I mean the wrost nightmare for someone who is claustrophobic.

 I don’t consider myself claustrophobic but after my recent experience I’m not sure… So I’ll tell you the story, it has a happy ending I promise. I was at the the RBC Ottawa Bluesfest last Thursday for Adventure Club. For those who don’t know Adventure Club, they’re two popular DJs that create really good EDM music! My friends and I thought it would be a great idea to go to the very front, and watch these DJs up close! We didn’t get very far in before we had to start pushing and squeezing through people, and when we finally made it only a few rows from the front, we decided we were close enough. Well even if we wanted to move closer (or further for that matter), there was no chance of moving in any direction. Oh but we were moving though.. just not willingly! Everyone was pushing! Not everyone was doing so purposely, most people were just also being pushed and since everyone is stuck together, a massive and continuous wave of pushing is created. And I’d just like to mention that I am a small girl, 5’2”, 100 pounds, so you can imagine people towering over me and squishing me it’s just really not the greatest thing in the world.

But that’s not even it!! That’s not mentioning all the mosh pits happening right next to me that I was struggling to avoid getting dragged into! - And that is the exact reason that I believe to enjoy this kind of thing, you need to be on drugs. I was a little drunk, but my buzz was pretty much completely killed when I couldn’t breathe and had to push people away from me to have a centimeter of space!! Maybe I am actually claustrophobic, or maybe I just really REALLY like my bubble when it comes to random sweaty drunk people around me, but I was literally starting to have a panic attack (and by starting to have a panic attack I mean I was actually having a panic attack). Luckily I was close enough to the fence at the front to get pulled out of the crowd by security.

The show had JUST started though! As I was getting pulled out, my exact thoughts were: “FML…. Like wow I’m not sure if I hate EDM concerts or if it’s just me who sucks and can’t handle them.” Some people don’t understand, but I’m sure if you are my size and are NOT on drugs, you can somewhat agree with me. I was pretty upset, I wasn’t with my friends anymore, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to just go home, or enjoy the concert alone further in the back… either way, it was super shitty!! :( If you are a raver, you’re probably thinking to yourself wow what a little pussy! Well screw off, you probably do drugs and/or you’re not my size! And maybe you are right, maybe I am a pussy. But whatever, I guess I’m just not someone who enjoys getting bruises and cuts!

Now for the happy ending! After getting pulled out of the crowd and brought next to the stage, they gave me water and told me to sit down for 5 minutes (because they probably thought I was on drugs). So I sat down, drank some cold water, relaxed, breathed in, breathed out, and I was fine. I got up, walked around a bit, and I realized that I was standing two meters away from a staircase that went backstage… No lie - I looked both ways and tip-toed up the stair case, thinking I would get kicked out right away! But I acted cool, like I belonged. Surprisingly, it worked! The people back there didn’t think twice, they didn’t ask me to show them anything, I literally chilled with them the entire show and watched it from back stage! It was amazing!! I couldn’t of been happier! I even took a pic on the actual stage when the show was over (and a million videos and pictures back stage during the show obviously), I even spoke to the DJs! (for like 2 seconds and I don’t think they even listened to me - but whatever hahaha) I made new friends with the people backstage; after the show we grabbed drinks and tacos at El Camino (an amazing taco bar spot on Elgin St- strongly recommend it) !!! I ended up having such a great time!

So the moral of the story is…. It’s worth it to have a panic attack in the crowd because when you get pulled out you might be able to go back stage if you’re a ninja like me!

Just kidding… On a serious note, raves and concerts can be a great time, you just need to know your limits and be careful.  I said the only way you can enjoy the craziness of these EDM events is by doing drugs, but I will highlight that I strongly discourage taking drugs. A 19 year old girl died just last weekend in Ottawa after taking an “ecstasy” pill, followed by another 20 year old girl who is in a coma. They were both at the Escapade Festival. This horrible incident is another reason I wanted to write this post. My sympathies to all loved ones of these two young girls. This is serious shit and you never know what you are putting inside your body. I value my life a WHOLE LOT more than I value a “sick trip dude”, and you should never give in to peer pressure. Just because everyone around you is doing something, doesn’t mean you should do it. Fitting in is so 2005, standing out is cool. Doing what you think is right, is cooler! Having good morals and being a good influence to those around you, is the coolest.

During future concerts, I think I will stick towards the back where I can actually dance and enjoy myself. 

Today I stumbled onto this article, which really rubbed me the wrong way, and when I say rubbed me the wrong way, I mean, I was fucking enraged! 
Here is the link to the article if anyone wants to see what I am talking about, and I obviously couldn’t help but give my two cents. So instead of writing all my feelings on here you can just read what I wrote in the comments and that pretty much sums it up.
http://www.examiner.com/list/8-things-women-just-don-t-do-anymore

Today I stumbled onto this article, which really rubbed me the wrong way, and when I say rubbed me the wrong way, I mean, I was fucking enraged! 

Here is the link to the article if anyone wants to see what I am talking about, and I obviously couldn’t help but give my two cents. So instead of writing all my feelings on here you can just read what I wrote in the comments and that pretty much sums it up.

http://www.examiner.com/list/8-things-women-just-don-t-do-anymore

Just a glimpse of me and my roommates when we are bored and procrastinating studying for exams…. :)