It sure is, may I ask who’s asking?
It sure is, may I ask who’s asking?
If you’re a female, you have most likely been catcalled in your life at least once. In case you don’t know what catcalling is, it is when a stranger (usually a male accompanied by other males), tells you something or yells you something while you’re walking in the street, or essentially anywhere. It will sound something like: “EY BABY, COME OVER HERE” or “DAMN GIRLLL, YOU LOOKIN’ FINE!” or it can also be a whistle, car honks or “MHMM MHMMM” also often accompanied by sexual movements….
….. you get the point.
So, this is a pretty common thing that happens every day to women walking on the street. Not only to good looking women but to every woman. Every time I walk somewhere, I am actually afraid to be cat called by guys walking by, guys in cars, guys anywhere near me.
When it happens, I usually just ignore it completely, but it always makes me feel super uncomfortable, kind of freaked out and disgusted.
“But… It was just a compliment? Jeez, don’t get so worked up!”
This is what some people will say in response to people like me who get pissed off when getting cat-called. Are you freaking kidding me? A compliment? You must not know what a compliment is. Let me help you with that, you dumb, dumb person.
“A polite expression of praise or admiration.”
Can you find the key word here? POLITE.
“Having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people.”
What are the key words here? RESPECTFUL and CONSIDERATE:
“Careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others. Showing careful thought. ”
If that doesn’t clarify anything for you, catcalling is extremely disrespectful. You are basically harassing someone. You are making someone else feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
And this is without mentioning how dumb people who catcall look while doing it. They are trying to look “cool” for their friends, and they act that way because society makes them feel like they have to objectify women to feel manly or seem manly. It’s RIDICULOUS! They can’t talk to women like regular people! And this is often because they fail to see women as regular people, which is a HUGE fucking problem.
If you are with a group of your friends and one of your friends see’s a woman walking and says something inappropriate, I demand you have the decency to smack him in the face, or tell him to shut the fuck up.
For this post I DON’T want to talk about our lives in our society, our different stages in our life, our purpose in life or why we are here. I actually don’t want to center it around human life at all. When I ask what is life, I am talking in broader terms. MUCH MUCH broader terms, actually.
Have you ever thought about how big the universe is? How incomprehensibly gigantic the cosmos are? Do you have any idea at all how insignificantly small we are in the grand scheme of things? I can’t begin to try to explain it because it’s almost impossible to really understand what we are in the universe. Existence is such a messed up idea to try to wrap your head around. Lately I have been obsessed with learning more about the universe and it keeps blowing my mind every day.
I would like to share with you my personal belief about the universe. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to explain it very well but I’ll do my best.
So the universe keeps going and going, there is no wall that ends the universe, there is no end to the universe… It is infinite. You know the molecules and atoms everywhere that make everything on earth what it is? — like the skin on your arm or a piece of wood for example. To me, a molecule on your arm or on a piece of wood (or anything) is a universe in itself. And it expands, so it keeps going both ways. So our planet is like an atom in the molecule of the Milky Way, and we are just a tiny part of something bigger. And that thing that is bigger, is also a tiny part of something bigger, and it keeps going! In my head, it’s the only thing that makes sense. And it literally keeps going infinitely in both directions. Infinitly smaller and infinitly larger.
I tried to explain that as best as I could so hopefully you understand what I mean! I’m not a science genius; I only took science in high school and mostly forgot everything at this point. But now I kind of REALLY wish I decided to study science. Astronomy specifically. I am seriously obsessed with it lately, it is so mind blowing, and it gives me some weird feeling. Kind of like a sense of calm, like my life is so meaningless in a way, but so insanely awesome at the same time and that I am so lucky to be experiencing life, whatever this is, whatever we are. The fact that I can think of all of this amazes me and makes me want to learn everything about the universe. I started watching “Cosmos” on Netflix, I seriously urge everyone to watch the first episode! You will be amazed and want to watch the whole season. After writing this post, I am going to watch another episode.
Life is so crazy. I can’t even write this blog post properly because I can’t put into words how amazing it all is. I can’t put into words what is going on in my head. I just wanted to try my best to share my thoughts with you all.
And this is leaving out the whole “time” stuff. Do you understand our time on this planet? Do you understand that the time of your life on this planet, is literally NOTHING compared to the time of the universe. Our human life is like a blink of the eye in our planet’s perspective. Let’s fit the entire universe’s time since the “Big Bang” in one year’s calendar. So the “Big Bang” is January 1st at 12:00am sharp and the present time is December 31st at 12:00am sharp. Human existence only appeared in the last hour of December 31st. This includes cave men, all the kings we’ve learned about, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, this includes everything in our history books, everything we know, the pyramids in Egypt, all human existenece. And it all only happens December 31st at 11:00pm. And our present life, which only lasts roughly a century, is at the last 100th of a millisecond of the last day of the year.
This is kind of difficult to understand, and they explain it much better in “Cosmos” on Netflix. So watch it and you will see what I am saying.
Anyways all of this trippy stuff makes me realize how useless and dumb it is to be mad about little things, or let things get to me in life. Also how I spend so much time doing things that I don’t even want to do, and achieve things that society expects me to achieve, when in the end, it’s all kind of just an illusion. Society doesn’t matter. I am alive in this fantastic universe. By the way I swear I don’t do drugs and I am not high while writing this lol. Can anyone relate to what I am saying? This shit is so messed up, in such a fantastic mysterious wonderful way.
I for one am not religious, I believe in science and hard facts. But this stuff makes me feel spiritual in ways I can’t explain.
Have you ever felt like you wanted to say something or do something but never had the “gutts” to do it? I’m not talking about going sky diving, or doing something illegal… I’m talking about the comfort zone. What is the comfort zone you ask? It is anything that is safe and familiar. Anything that you are used to, that you’re afraid to change and has zero risk involved.
So this can be your group of friends, your regular activities, your school, your current job that you’ve become comfortable with, etc… And this is also your level of comfort in being yourself around new people. Most people who are afraid to stepping outside of their comfort zone are worried about what others think of them, don’t take much risk in life and have a harder time being themselves around people they meet. And that seriously sucks, and is why I wanted to discuss it a bit today and tell you why it’s important to step outside of your comfort zone.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone allows you to learn more about yourself, grow as a person and it’s honestly super liberating once you start doing it regularly. Think about it, it’s the people who aren’t afraid of making a fool out of themselves that are the people who are the most memorable in life! Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be hard, but if you never do it, your life will most likely be pretty boring. People complain a lot about this, “Ugghh my life sucks… Why doesn’t anything exciting happen to me? Why aren’t I enjoying life as much as this person or that person?”
Let me tell you why! Because you don’t do anything out of the ordinary or that you feel uncomfortable doing! You don’t take opportunities that are presented to you because you are too scared! You care too much what others think of you, and don’t want people to think your weird! But let me tell you a secret… being weird is actually the equivalent of being awesome. This is not a joke, I am serious!
Here’s a list of things I’ve done in the past year that I had to step outside of my comfort zone to do, and that I am pretty proud of :
- Stood up for myself
- Voiced my opinion on social media and in real life
- Attended parties where I only knew 1 person
- Frosh guide for the school’s student body – by myself, not knowing anybody
- Frosh guide next year for my faculty – without any close friends
- Hosted a couple parties
- Became Director of translation for my student council for year 2014-2015
- Moved out of my parent’s house, into a house with 4 girls, all of whom I didn’t know
- Decided to go on exchange for one semester studying in Hong Kong!
Now, after taking all of those steps, which weren’t the easiest to do, I guess you could say that now I am pretty comfortable stepping outside of my comfort zone, if that makes any sense! But I am so glad I was able to do those things. Because of it, I met so many new people, which some are now very good friends of mine, made plenty of new memories, built my confidence, pushed myself, and I have absolutely zero regrets! I still have some work to do, sometimes I’m still afraid of what others will think of me, or I have a hard time being myself around new people, but it is something I work on every day and I have made so much progress from last year.
If you can do one small thing, even if it’s just going to a different bar than the one you usually go to, or if its standing up for yourself or for a friend. Trust me, once you start doing little things like that, it will become easier and easier to continue stepping outside of your comfort zone. You will grow as a person, become more confident and simply feel more alive! It’s amazing!
Trust me, making the decision to go to Hong Kong for a semester wasn’t an easy one, it is probably the most adventurous thing I’ve ever done. Going to the other side of the planet, all by myself and where the culture is extremely different, I think it’s the most I’ve ever stepped outside of my comfort zone, and as much as it was scary, I am SO happy! I am super excited, and proud of myself for doing this, I can’t wait! But if it weren’t for all of the other smaller steps I took, this probably would have been too scary for me.
So I challenge everyone to do one small thing, something “risky”, and by risky I don’t mean dangerous or illegal lol, I mean something like the things I listed. You will feel great after and you will have that excitement in life you are looking for!
1- I find it hard to say what the 5 main goals of feminists are, since not all feminists have the same thoughts in the first place and it also depends what area in the world you revolve your ideas around. The main goal feminists have is for equal treatment between the sexes. Now that is THE goal. Through that, I guess I can name five different specific things. Personally, I look at the aspects in third world countries as well as aspects in first world countries so I’ll try to give you a couple goals in both. In third world countries, feminists goals are to stop rape culture (this will include victim blaming and slut shaming), also stop stereotypical thoughts about women (must be dainty, dumb, shopoholics, can’t do sports, or drive, or be a leader, run a country..), then I will choose a third one for third world countries: sexual objectification. This is a big one. Seeing women as sexual objects only, and not as real people who have complex personalities and feelings. Now the last two for first world countries: equal rights for women (driving, voting, education etc…) and stopping child marriage, rape and abuse.
2- Hmmm… That is another tough one. No I don’t remember exactly when or where I heard of feminism. I never took a class, I guess I learned the term through conversations or the internet. I also read a lot of articles, many which are very sexist and I always get very angry and unpleased with them and speak about it so I think I naturally became a feminist, which I then took it upon myself to learn more.
3- Personally, I have started a page on “Because I am a girl-Canada” that raises money for women’s education, I need 120$ to give 2 women writing lessons. This is something I have only started a couple of weeks ago so I haven’t made very much progess yet, I will soon post it on my Tumblr and reblogs would be very much appreciated! I also speak a lot about it on social media or personally to other people in real life lol. Often when someone says something that is sexist I call them out or correct them or ask them to explain themselves. I also educate my friends and family the most I can with my thoughts.
I hope this helped! :)
So if you have me on Facebook or even on twitter, you might have noticed that I share a pretty healthy amount of articles, pictures and opinions that pretty much scream feminist. I have no problem admitting that I am a feminist. I’ll say it again, I am a feminist, I am a feminist, I am a fucking feminist!!
The problem is, I don’t really like that word, because unfortunately, not everyone really understands what it means. Also, it has a negative tone to it, making it sound extreme and unreasonable- which it is definitely not. This post’s purpose is to explain to people, who don’t know what feminism is or who THINK they know what feminism is, what it truly entails!
So what is feminism? Let’s keep it simple, here is the dictionary definition:
1- The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities;
2- The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
Pretty simple to understand right? So no, feminists don’t hate men, or want women to take over the universe, or think men should bend down and kiss women’s feet. All feminists want is equal treatment between the sexes. This doesn’t only include the injustices that women face, but the injustices that men face as well. Most feminists also vouch for equal rights for gay people, minorities, people with disabilities, etc. Basically, we want equal rights for everyone. But the term feminism and feminist is specific to equal rights for the two sexes.
I don’t feel like ranting too much about this subject because it would take too long and I wouldn’t even know where to start because I have so much to say and it is something that I feel strongly about. All I wanted to share is the meaning of being a feminist. People need to stop thinking being a “feminist” is something negative. Some of you might be thinking that women and men ARE treated equally. Well I am really sorry to tell you that you are very, but very wrong, and you need to educate yourself quite a bit more.
I have posted a picture below that has some sickening facts; which is only a sample of one area of the world’s problems. This will give you a little reality check, and if you are a real human being with a heart, it should make you angry!
Now you might be thinking, “Oh well yeah, other parts of the world… duh there’s a bunch of problems there” But you know what? Sexism exists in all other parts of the world as well, but in different forms. Like I said, I don’t feel like starting to rant too much, but there will definitely be a post discussing this in more detail, along with my specific opinions at some point.
I hope this helped give you a clearer perspective on what feminism really is. The term sounds negative, but it simply means equal treatment between men and women. That’s it. So if you think equal treatment between men and women is absolute nonsense and crazy, then yes I guess I am fucking out of my mind insane. I hope you are too.
Well hello reader!
This is my first blog post, and I thought I would write about society and the predetermined “path” that we are all supposed to follow. This subject has been on my mind A LOT recently because I often question what I am doing with my life.
First and foremost, let me introduce myself, I’m Danielle and I’m 20 years old, from Ottawa, Ontario. I am currently a business student at Ottawa U. I am nowhere NEAR being a writer so bear with me. I’ll end it there because if I start talking more about myself I will go on tangents about every single detail… and this post will be long enough as it is.
The point of this first post: THE PATH! We all know the path. It starts in kinder garden, where you learn how to count, and how to sing the alphabet! Then its elementary school, middle school, secondary school, college or university, graduate school maybe, decent job, husband/wife, and kids. This is the life society tells us to live. This is what we all grow up thinking should happen, and is our idea of how life should be, and what scares me the most, is that our happiness, in some cases, depends on it.
Although, this is definitely not the case for everyone, so please read taking in account that his is my point of view, my experiences and my personal thoughts. I do know some people who are going in completely different direction than the path and I honestly feel liberated knowing that we are not ALL prisoners of the path. But I’ll admit, I’m stuck in it. Here it goes.
During my last year of high school, I had absolutely NO idea what I was going to do after I graduated. But there was one thing I knew for sure. I was going to university. In what? No idea, because I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do yet. But I was pressured by my parents, my teachers and my peers to apply to university, and by a certain deadline, when I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
I applied into chemical engineering, environmental sciences and business. Did I actually want to study any of these? Nope. But I knew I would be good at it. And I couldn’t just jump out of the moving vehicle of the path. I had to continue even if I didn’t like where I was going, I guess I didn’t have full control of the steering wheel! Maybe none at all. I am now in the middle of completing my bachelor degree in business and I have spent hundreds of hours dedicated to learning and mastering the concepts of business statistics, finance, accounting, management, marketing, etc. Not to mention the money I’ve invested in it. I’ve spent so much money on tuition, books, and review sessions. It’s kind of insane how powerful the path can be.
Now after thinking about it a lot, I sometimes wish I would’ve taken a year off. This would have allowed me to actually think about what I want to do with my life. I could’ve saved the effort and money and spend it all on what I actually want to accomplish in life, once figured out. I am still not completely sure what I want to do with my life, but I do have more of an idea. And it is not what I am doing right now, but I don’t know if I will be able to jump off of this moving vehicle and follow my own path.
I want to work in the film industry. If I am passionate about anything, it is movies, film, photography and music. AKA… the arts!! But I went in business! Even in high school, I never took the awesome video and photo shop class that was offered, because I decided to take math, calculus, physics and chemistry instead. I was too focused on doing what the people around me expected me to do and not on what I actually wanted to do. And so I just kept doing that, it’s not like I could’ve decided after working so hard in high school in the math classes, to go in arts where it isn’t even needed! And the worst part is, I was really really really good at math. I am still good at math, I do best in my economics, accounting and stats classes than my electives, when people see that, it is viewed as some sort of crime to not make use of the potential. BUT I DON’T EVEN LIKE IT THOUGH!! Who does??? (Alright I’ll admit sometimes I like it but solely because I am good at it and it feels good to be good at something, but Jesus Christ why did you have to make me good at math out of all things?)
I know what most of you are probably thinking, well why don’t I just stop what I’m doing and go to a film school? It’s not that simple… I can’t just throw away all the hard work I have put in since high school. I can’t drop out of university after spending countless hours studying, and after spending so much money into my school. I must at least finish my degree. And you know what that means? That means I cannot derive from the path for another 2 years. And who says in two years I will not be brainwashed by society even more that I must now go get my MBA, or go to law school, or just try to find a job in my field of study.
How will people react if I tell them I am going to film school? Think about that. And now think about how will they react if I tell them I will be completing an MBA? That’s the problem right there. The path is where there is certainty of social acceptance. The path is what is safe. I know that when I finish my bachelor degree, if I go get my MBA, the chances of me getting a decent job, even a great job, is fairly high. And a decent job is an essential part of society’s path. If I decide to go into film school, there is much less opportunities, it will be much more complicated, not many people will believe in me and support me like they do now, and I could struggle.
Wow that was a pretty large tangent about my own situation, ANYWAYS.. once you’ve figured out your job situation, what about the whole husband/wife and kids situation? You can’t deny that as an average Canadian, your family and your friends all expect you to get married and have kids. It’s what everyone is supposed to do right? You’re supposedly going to find “the one”, get married, have 2 kids, (maybe three if you’re feeling adventurous), and eventually get a dog.
In reality, this does NOT happen for everyone. Some people don’t find “the one” and some people don’t want kids. And you know what, that is OKAY. Maybe some of you are laughing at me like “duh, life isn’t just about that.” But seriously, my whole life, up until recently, I thought that if I didn’t find “the one”, get married, and have kids by the age of 30, my life was over, I would be depressed and I might as well give up on life entirely. How horrible is that? Putting so much pressure on myself, to attain these goals that are set out for me and that I’m not even sure I even want! Do I want to get married and have kids? The automatic answer is yes, because that’s what I’ve been taught my entire life. But realistically, now that I have experienced more things in life, and I have seen more things, I’m not sure of what I want. With divorce rates going up like crazy, knowing that people cheat on each other, knowing that married couples end up hating each other, do I want that?
Even if my hypothetical future husband and I don’t end up cheating on each other, what tells me we won’t get sick of each other after 10 years and want to rip each other’s heads off? How am I supposed to know that the person will be the same person in 20 years? It’s impossible, hell I’ll be a different person too! The idea of marriage just isn’t clear to me anymore. True love isn’t clear to me anymore, but that will have to be a different blog post ‘cause I could go on for days.
So why am I following the path? I don’t fucking know, I am very afraid to be stuck in it forever. But the fear of the uncertainty and rejection from others is what drives it.
And it is scary to jump out of a moving vehicle.